My Review of Vertical Church in West Haven, CT
I’m a church critic. Often, people ask me, “who appointed you as a church critic.” And my reply is, “God.” Yes, it is true. God, him/her/theyself, knocked on my noggin and thus spoketh the holy spirit, “Ryan, I want you to be a church critic. For starters, I think it is funny as heck. And the big guy/gal/they upstairs considers you a talented observer and storyteller.” However, the holy spirit continued, “Jesus is still mad at you about the joke you told. But don’t worry about him; it usually takes him three days to get over things.”
After I thanked God, I asked them (there are three of them, so pronouns don’t matter in this instance) which church should I visit first. And then God told me to wander over yonder to Vertical Church in West Haven, CT. So, I did what God asked me to do. I went to Vertical Church.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Every Sunday, there are three church services: 8:30, 10, and 11. Of those three, I chose — I mean, God chose — the 10 a.m. Memorial Day-themed service to attend. We (my daughter and I) arrived as the earlier service was leaving. It was a flawless experience. Vertical Church follows the great shepherd-in-the-sky’s advice by herding us in and out with efficiency.
We were lovingly greeted by two ladies at the door, then again by the welcome squad, and then…
