The Power of Connection

How Finding My Men’s Group Saved My Life

From Solitude to Solidarity: My Men’s Group Story

Image by author, lost and lonely without support

“Please, God, take my life,” I prayed silently as my fingers wrapped tighter around the knife in my pocket. I prayed for courage to do the unspeakable as I stood on the cliff’s edge, looking at the moon’s reflection over the ocean’s water. Any other night, this would be awe-inspiring. But I was a broken man.

Though my hand was gripping the knife, my heart was gripping an unbearable weight of countless disappointments: early childhood trauma, being fired from a job, a car repossessed, a bank putting a foreclosure sign on my lawn, and a wife who hated me.

I felt so — alone.

HOW I FOUND THE MEN’S GROUP

Though not right away, God did answer my prayer to take my life. In February 2011, I died.

And I was brought back.

I spent years trying to figure out why. Why did I suddenly die? And why was I brought back? You can read about my self-discovery in answering those questions here: I Was Angry and Terrified When I Died.

Nearly ten years later, I still had no true friends. Sure, I had acquaintances and people I was friendly with — people I could…